We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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