We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
