is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
