Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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