Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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