you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
