oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
