my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
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There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
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He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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