I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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