god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
