When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You ruined the universe
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
