I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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