He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
