Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
