I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
