It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
