i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
