but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
