Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
