i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
