How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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