I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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