Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
