but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize