My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
