Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize