On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
