I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
