I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Everything about him screamed your future.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
