Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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