Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize