Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
