Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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