BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
