I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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