hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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