Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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