So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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