They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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