We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
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I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We don't watch enough power rangers
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
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he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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