I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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