Need sex. Gaining weight.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"