Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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