Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
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