Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I got her a Nickelback box set.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
