Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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