we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
