Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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