no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
