Dude my mom stole all your condoms
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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