How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
