I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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