you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
