plz talk dirty to me
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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