Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
