There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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