i jhust puked up my retainher.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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